Sorry I haven’t blogged for a couple of weeks, life has been very hectic. That said, by diet has gone out of the window. Cue the self-loathing and disappointment!
I am THE worst dieter. I’m good for a week, then I will have 1 ‘bad’ thing, and it just spirals. I had a goal in mind for 2 weeks time when I go away that I wanted to be at least a stone lighter. I am still exactly the same weight as when I made that plan 8 weeks ago! So I vow to have two great weeks before I go away, to at least get some weight off!
The plan ahead however, is to rejoin Slimming World when I come back. I will still go to group leading up to my holidays to make sure I am sticking to plan but when I joined weeks ago, with all the best intentions in the world, it was just one thing after another; finding out my Nan’s cancer had returned and the prognosis was not good, uni exams and then the dreaded results, then the celebrations. I am an emotional eater, so all these did nothing for my diet. I lost 2lb, gained 1lb, gained 1.5lb, lost 1/2lb……and so on and so on! Now weeks in, I’m 3lb heavier than my start weight and still yet to achieve my half stone award. In the past, when my diet really was appalling, i lost 2 stone in 8 weeks. Granted I gained it all back just as quick but sometimes, it is so demotivating. But my diet has changed over the years naturally anyway. Even when I am not on plan, I still follow the plan’s basics and use the plan’s recipes. I need a fresh start, with a new book and a clean history to crack on. Looking back in my book and seeing the plodding along just really demotivates me. It makes me feel like a failure.
I feel like I have been on Slimming World on and off for over 5 years now and I am still the same weight as when I started all them years ago. I know it is me, I know the plan works. I just need to get around the emotional eating aspect. Sad = eating, happy = eating, socializing = eating, celebrating = eating….WHERE IS MY WILLPOWER?!?!?!
Good luck for this week guys, I shall keep you posted with how I get on. I’m going to spend these couple of weeks to look at what I struggle with, what I do well and use it for when I rejoin. This HAS to be my last time. I want to be confident and happier with me, how else is anyone going to like me when I cant even like myself?