Work in Progress…

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!! Hope you all had a fabulous festive period πŸ™‚

I haven’t posted in a long while, but I shall be back. Operation Slimming World reboots on Saturday (6th Jan) for a much needed fresh start.

Stick with me lovelies and wish me luck. This is about the struggles after all πŸ˜‰

X

Arghhhh

So I’m feeling a little out of sorts at the minute. I rejoined in August and was well on my way to my half stone award, then I went Say, gained, then lost, then was ill and I couldn’t get weighed last weekend. I’m so annoyed at myself because this is what I do time after time. One step forward, 2 steps back. I reallyyyyy wanted that Half stone award but Iv probably eaten all my syns just in cough lozenges. Previously I lost 2 stone in about 8 weeks but now it takes me weeks lose half a stone. I just need my mojo back.

I’m Back Bitchessss

Hi All.

I haven’t posted in a few weeks as everything has been a little manic.

First up, I had my week one weigh in. 3.5lb down! So happy with that. I had had a good week and I just felt really heavy and bloated come weigh day, but I was made up with the result. Then last weekend I didn’t get weighed as I was in sunny Brighton having a fabulous time. I wasn’t 100% on plan, but I wasn’t really bad either, plus we did lots and lots of walking, so fingers crossed my 2nd weigh in on Saturday is not too bad! I have been back on plan since I got back on Saturday evening, so I am not too worried!

One thing I am quite proud of myself about is the fact that I got back off my holiday and just got straight back on it. In the past I would have just let it spiral until my next weigh in, but I got straight back on it and I am actually enjoying it. This is a big thing for me, as letting my eating spiral is one of my biggest downfalls.

Another thing I am quite excited about, is that my mumma is joining my slimming world group on Saturday too! I have always gone on my own, which doesn’t bother me as my group is so lovely, but it will just be so nice and much easier to have someone close by, to support one another and motivate one another.

So anyhow, short but sweet to just get updated with where I am at. Normality shall now resume. Wish me luck for Saturday lovelies!!

xx

It’s not called ‘Struggles of a Big Girl’ for nothing!

My Slimming World journey has been one big battle. This week has been a bit of a turning point. I have been down and miserable about my weight and just feeling like a big, fat, failure (pun intended!).

I have had heart to hearts with various people this week, including my consultant, and I have decided that I am rejoining on Saturday for the last (everything crossed) time! I am going away for a few days in a couple of weeks and was going to wait until I get home, but it is hurdles like this I need to overcome, not avoid and it is 3 weeks in which I could be losing weight. In all honesty, the thought of getting to my target weight seemed absolutely impossible. I had resigned myself to thinking it will never happen, making excuses and then moaning about my weight…its a viscous circle!

A couple of days ago, I started a self-help book called Eat, Guilt, Repent, Repeat by Brenda J. Bentley which has just been an absolute god-send. I have never really felt much towards self-help books before. I’m a trainee Psychologist, and I see their merits, but I found them a little cheesy. However, this book really struck a chord with me. Β It got me thinking about what I struggle with, my learned behaviors and how I may actually be my own self-sabotager. It has been a massive eye-opener and I feel like I am now in a better place to start again, to use this information I have found and create newer, healthier habits. I can do this. I will do this. But above all I NEED to do this. I think in an ironic way, losing weight is a bit like losing a comfort blanket. I blame everything on my weight, and if I lose it, I have nothing to hide behind.

 

xx

Struggle, Struggle, Struggle….arghhhh!!

Hi All,

Sorry I haven’t blogged for a couple of weeks, life has been very hectic. That said, by diet has gone out of the window. Cue the self-loathing and disappointment!

I am THE worst dieter. I’m good for a week, then I will have 1 ‘bad’ thing, and it just spirals. I had a goal in mind for 2 weeks time when I go away that I wanted to be at least a stone lighter. I am still exactly the same weight as when I made that plan 8 weeks ago! So I vow to have two great weeks before I go away, to at least get some weight off!

The plan ahead however, is to rejoin Slimming World when I come back. I will still go to group leading up to my holidays to make sure I am sticking to plan but when I joined weeks ago, with all the best intentions in the world, it was just one thing after another; finding out my Nan’s cancer had returned and the prognosis was not good, uni exams and then the dreaded results, then the celebrations. I am an emotional eater, so all these did nothing for my diet. I lost 2lb, gained 1lb, gained 1.5lb, lost 1/2lb……and so on and so on! Now weeks in, I’m 3lb heavier than my start weight and still yet to achieve my half stone award. In the past, when my diet really was appalling, i lost 2 stone in 8 weeks. Granted I gained it all back just as quick but sometimes, it is so demotivating. But my diet has changed over the years naturally anyway. Even when I am not on plan, I still follow the plan’s basics and use the plan’s recipes. I need a fresh start, with a new book and a clean history to crack on. Looking back in my book and seeing the plodding along just really demotivates me. It makes me feel like a failure.

I feel like I have been on Slimming World on and off for over 5 years now and I am still the same weight as when I started all them years ago. I know it is me, I know the plan works. I just need to get around the emotional eating aspect. Sad = eating, happy = eating, socializing = eating, celebrating = eating….WHERE IS MY WILLPOWER?!?!?!

Good luck for this week guys, I shall keep you posted with how I get on. I’m going to spend these couple of weeks to look at what I struggle with, what I do well and use it for when I rejoin. This HAS to be my last time. I want to be confident and happier with me, how else is anyone going to like me when I cant even like myself?

xx

Week 2….and celebrations!!

Well, this week has been one hell of a struggle!!

After a cracking weigh in last weekend, i was so determined to stick to plan 100% this week and get another great weight loss this weekend. But I have so lost my way! I haven’t been unbelievably bad, but I have been bad enough to know this weekend, the scales are not going to be my friend.

It all started on Tuesday. I am in my 4th out of 6th year of university (I study my Psychology degree part time while working full time) and I got some exam results back. I hadn’t done an exam in over 10 years since I did my A-levels and I was an absolute nervous wreck. Not only had it been ages, but this was my degree, that was costing me thousands. Anyway, all that seemed irrelevant as when I got my result on Tuesday I had got 80%. 80 FRIGGIN’ PERCENT!!!! I was obviously elated. So celebrations were had and rightly so. But since then it has been a very slippery slope. My body has craved sugar, and having zero willpower, I gave in. But now I feel so disappointed with myself! Finding balance seems to be the biggest hurdle for me. I am absolutely all or nothing! And I also need to learn when to draw a line and pull it back.

After this week, after feeling so happy with something going right in my life, the slimming aspect was a bit of a downer. And this is where I really struggle. I want nothing more but to be slimmer. I have never craved to be slim, just slimmer and more confident. But does there come a time when it sort of takes over your life? I saw a post on Facebook or Instagram saying ‘ do not reward yourselves with food, you are not a dog’. But people reward themselves with alcohol often, yet i don’t drink (or very rarely). I like food, therefore a nice meal or some nice cake is a good reward for me. Yet the personal achievement this week was overshadowed by the daunting aspect of getting weighed this weekend knowing I hadn’t been 100% on plan. Is my attitude wrong? Should I have more willpower? Am I really wrong to reward my achievement with food rather than alcohol?

I am ALL about recording your achievements and recognizing them, but I also believe it is important to recognize that hard times too. It is important so you can grow from them, can change them or even just accept that it may be a flaw and you have to find a way to work around it!

Any advise on this would be so much appreciated. I know I am the worst dieter in the world. I love my food. And I wish more than anything I was one of those people who just embraced my body and was confident and happy, but I am not, so therefore I know something needs to change. But how do you find the balance? How do you get over life’s obstacles? And how do you have a blip or celebrate without feeling guilt at the fact you have overindulged.

 

xx

The Verdict is in….Week 1

So weigh day was saturday. Sorry for the delayed update, manic weekend. BUT 2.5lb down. Absolutely thrilled.

I wasn’t expecting much in all honesty. I had been relatively good but come weigh in, I felt bloated and horrible, so it was a great surprise, I even did a little victory dance!

Well on my way into my 2nd week and I’m finding it a little tricky. Think I got a bit cocky after a good weigh in if I’m honest haha. But I have planned this weeks meals and I’m not doing too bad. Fingers crossed for another good week πŸ™‚ 

Happy Friday!!Β 

Just wanted to share this found on my Slimming World groups Facebook page. Made me chuckle. I dare you to try and not sing along as you read πŸ˜‚
At first I was afraid I was petrified 😱

Kept thinking I could never live without u by my sideπŸ•πŸŒ­πŸŸ

But then I spent so many times thinking how u did me wrong πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

and I grew strong!πŸ‹πŸΏ

I learned how to get along🎀🎀🎀


And so the FAT from round my waist

Just made folk look at me with that sad look upon their face 😞

I should have put the burger back πŸ”

I should have made u eat all three πŸ”πŸ”πŸ”

If I’d know for just one second it wud b back to tempting me πŸ˜›


Go on now go just disappear πŸ‘»

I’ve turned around now and that FAT ain’t welcome here no more 🚫

Weren’t u the one who tried to hurt me with cherry pieπŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’―

Did u think I’ll crumbleπŸ˜ΉπŸ’―

Did u think I’d eat more of that pie?🍰

Oh no not I πŸ™‹πŸΌ

I will surviveπŸ’ͺ

As long as I know how to love myself πŸ’žπŸ’ž

I know that I’ll survive πŸ‘ΌπŸΌ

I’ve got all my time to give βŒ›οΈβŒ›οΈβŒ›οΈβŒ›οΈβŒ›οΈ

I’ve got all my love to give πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’

And I’ll survive yes I know I will survive πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ

Use Your Syns Wisely!

So this is something I really struggle with and I am wondering if this is just me, or am I not alone?!

I get between 5 and 20 syns a day on my Slimming World plan but I was wondering; is there a right and wrong way to use them? 

I am always near as dammit to the top end of my syns, but I do stay within them. However my weight loss is so slow, I’m wondering if I am using them correctly. I know some use them for meals but most of my meals are generally syn free so I use my syns to fund my sugar addiction. But this is where I struggle. You think ‘diet’ and to me, that means no chocolate, no sweets, no cake! Are the way I use my syns slowing down my weight loss? Should I be using them during mealtimes instead? 20 syns could potentially allow me 2 bars of chocolate. Surely 2 bars of chocolate is no good for weight loss?! 

Any tips on how to use my syns, or how you think this may be effecting my weight loss or how your own journey has been effected by syn use will be greatly appreciated! 

Even though I have been within my syns this week, I do feel like I have overindulged. Ultimately, it feels to good to be true! Xx

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